Consciously I want to evolve.
My ego resists and I forget.
I blog, re-read, remember.
So I blog for me, mostly.
I have found that:
- → sincere and regular prayer
- → genuinely good intentions
- → present-focus, "interest"
- → extended sense of humor
- → honesty, sharing, healing
- → constant work to discover and release bias in oneself
- →
dogged (to the extreme) effort to pursue awareness and understanding
Leads a person to "interactive insight from the inside." We only grok by going through. Spiritual growth is like all others: you absorb, become aware, and via love (sympathetic rapport and desire to become or absorb) and will (directed intent), that energy becomes part of your singular sense of identity. The 'growth' is in awareness, and with that comes power which is always over Self. Diversity is Legion; Singularity is the I AM. None of this is new or unique. It's simply "unconscious and slow" for most people. I figure I can't help doing it, so I would rather do it well than badly. Darkness is not of the Nothingness. It is not the opposite of light, as it only exists within the realm of light itself. Darkness is just something-ness lacking color. The universe is fundamentally of light, and darkness fails to hold dominance and fails to understand why: its nature precludes it: awareness itself makes all identities children of the light.
|
Posted by Palyne on 2007.09.11 Long ago when I wrote Bewilderness, I said in the narrative something like,
I psychoanalyzed myself only until I realized I was obviously a lunatic, at which point I concluded I was just giving myself a complex and might as well stop.
I’ve been kind of in denial of viewing the last couple days even though I want to, and I keep thinking about it, and I miss it so much for not having done nearly enough of it lately. I’m carefully avoiding info on TKR’s latest mission so I can squeeze in viewing the target before I expose myself to talk about it…I missed the deadline by a mile thanks to being simultaneously in interest-but-avoidance.
I need therapy.
Meanwhile, I’ve been thinking about the whole archetype vs. session thing. You know, I’m not 100% sure I can honestly say that getting accurate surface data is more important to me than an experience I feel touches my soul and amazes and inspires me. Calabrese called this “process vs. product” and I think that is a decent way of putting it.
I find that the more I view, the more the process starts to mean more to me. The more that a decent data-session with a poor “experiential factor” is a disappointment, while a lousy data-session with a great “experiential factor” feels like a consolation, and usually like it was well worth the effort regardless of the product result.
I feel that this is contrary to RV as a focus.
Read the full article at Self-Judging Sanity
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/self-judging-sanity/
Posted by Palyne on 2007.09.09 This makes the second time that shortly after a sense of genuine merging with a target, I was promptly a total bitch to one of the people I love most, finding anything they said no matter how innocent or kind to be irksome, and doing my damnedest to piss them off. Which they buy into as much as I do, when we should both know that after viewing that has that feel to it, I really shouldn’t be communicating with anybody.
I feel almost like… like internally, I recently molted. Haha. You know how snakes (I adore reptiles) are always so cranky when they just molted, their skin is new and tender. I feel like that except internally. Like I have shed an old skin of self, and there is something that is “of me” and yet new there, and it’s very hypersensitive.
Anything that has the slightest disagreement with me, even if I myself share that perspective as well!, seems like a major threat to be defended from, it’s ridiculous.
Oh well. The side effects are part of the learning I guess.
***
Later: so I fell asleep and kept dreaming that somehow, whenever someone found out that I was actually merging with a target and not just describing it, that I was totally rejected. Then I had several dreams where someone else was in that situation and I saw how others reacted to them when they found that out. I woke up apparently having barely breathed for a
Read the full article at Merged Personalities
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/merged-personalities/
Posted by Palyne on 2007.09.08 (I edited this a few times ’cause I kept remembering stuff. That’s the thing about the “experiential” bit–it can contain so MUCH info by the time you write it down that you lose it. This is one reason for writing ‘during’ RV — although I think that is overdone sometimes — but the act of writing tends to interfere with experience at times so it’s always a bit iffy on the decision.)
Was doing a tandem with a friend tonight.
The focus goes well, anchoring and feeling ‘in the center’. I’ve been getting all lovey with IG more than usual lately so I attribute it to that.
The archetype arrives and he is a very serious looking, tough, wiry, asian man of middle age. I have a visual flash of a big inset circular shape with something high in the middle. I say my spiel to him about the plans and take his hands. I ask what he has for me. He reaches to a pendant of some symbol I don’t recognize and he yanks on the cord and it comes off in his hand, except somehow he ‘yanked it out of his chest’ too as an overlay to that, and he tied it behind my neck. I look at IG. “Don’t let me forget to take this off when we’re done,” I say, remembering an old experience where the blonde-man-me of The Four realized that “chains equals prisoner” and a commitment of sorts when that symbol-experience happens.
I don’t
Read the full article at The Cliff-Cave Med
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/the-cliff-cave-med/
Posted by Palyne on 2007.09.04 Lately all my dreams seem to have involved living on another planet, or in a couple cases, an orbiting moon. I’m trying to decide if this has some significance, or if that’s just the cycle of “sitting in on other identities” that I’m in. It always seems to be some situation nearly out of control and dangerous and where I’m trying to escape from authority figures like soldiers or police.
Recently a friend told me of a ‘dream teacher’ he’d met. Someone who worked in a model best compared to Casteneda’s “The Art of Dreaming.” Aside from whatever else Carlos wrote, most of which I considered semi-fiction, that particular book truly described a ton of experiences I’d spent over a year having when I read it, so I really attributed something legit to the info in it.
The idea of someone who consciously can do this stuff was intriguing to me. As soon as I’m not semi-ill anymore (fighting off a cold) so my sleep is halfway normal, I’m going to see if I can go meet the teacher in a dream and get him to teach ME. (Do you suppose there is a dream version of paypal. Heh. If I can approach him in a dream, do you think he’d make me exempt from payment?)
My kid has accepted that dreaming is often “sitting in on” other lives, and now is as fluent at remembering and explaining dreams that amount to sci-fi as I am, which is kind of
Read the full article at Dreaming
http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/dreaming/
Posted by Palyne on 2007.09.01 This morning I was waking up (again) slowly. For the first time in eons, nothing was bugging me, rushing me, beeping at me, screaming at me, or otherwise harrassing my morning. It was saturday around noon which might be why. It felt WONDERFUL.
I turned on the music on my computer. It started on Jai Nunito’s drum stuff, a sort of new age/shamanic album someone gave me. I sleepily imagined myself into my inner world with inner guide (IG), and then fell back asleep again. The album led into an old one by James Taylor. I gradually woke up again, feeling as if I were ‘wrapped in the arms of love’ with IG, it was great.
I finally had enough brain to communicate with him consciously, and I told him how much I loved him and then stretched a little physically, and turned over, and felt like I was burrowing into some amorpheous cloud of energy of him, and I just oozed delight and love all over. For about half an hour we did variations on that theme. It was truly glorious. It’s been far too long since IG and I got that jiggy together. He is so awesome.
Then I had the feeling he wanted me to meet someone or something, an archetype I assumed, and rather languid, I said ok, bring it on, and stretched again. Then I could see inside me, as if I were overlooking an entire terrain, like I were on a small mountain and
|
Reality = Physiology = Psychology = Spirituality = Cosmology = Geometry = Number = Sound = Form There is no difference.  Posts  Comments Identity is an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a title. My work is not just study; it's prayer, it's mental techniques, it's life habits. It's not just about inner worlds; discipline and physical environment matter. It's not just spiritual; my body and world is part of it. It's not just esoteric; everything corresponds integrally — the mundane, the arcane, the divine. It's not just an '-ology'; my own identity, body, reality, psyche is key to it all. The only tenets of truth I hold are based on personal experience.This effort has spanned my life, but not until ~1994 did it become intentional, not 'til late '00s did it become fairly 'serious'. I've gone through many models and philosophies over time, but now I've none except what experience teach me. I am ever the student, but I've reached a point of "fluency" and "internal guidance" where I don't care about labels or other peoples' paradigms.
CATEGORIES on this blog are extensive and nested. Most everything that matters or repeats much has a category.
The TAGS are just minor notes of reference trivia. They are usually a rare experience, or an observation about something I read.
|
Recent Comments